Resources
I continue to lean on the following resources in both my writing and coaching.
FINDING A THERAPIST
MEDITATION & MINDFULNESS
PARENTING
ONLINE PRACTITIONERS
RELATIONSHIPS
TRAUMA
FINDING A THERAPIST
Open Path Collective is a group of therapists that offer their services at sliding-scale fees. Many clients have found great practitioners here at affordable prices.
Psychology Today offers a similar directory as OPC.
MEDITATION AND MINDFULNESS
Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Gunaratana: A friend of mine passed this gem of a book to me a few years ago. Not only is it full of useful information, it’s actually just very calming for me to read. I leave it on the coffee table to enjoy consistently, but especially when I know I have a particularly difficult situation coming up.
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle has been as powerful as weekly therapy in learning to manage my anxiety. I listen to the Audible version whenever I drive—it’s like a buffer between me and whatever driving stressors might come up.
Sleep Meditation by Lauren Ostrowski Fenton: Every night, I set my Spotify timer for 30 minutes when I lie down to bed. I listen to LOF for those 30 minutes and almost always fall asleep in that time. If not, I know to get up and practice some sleep hygiene skills.
PARENTING
BOOKS & PODCASTS
Miller began her work in psychology by delving into the childhoods of Hitler and Stalin. She wanted to see if there were childhood roots to their violent adulthoods, and found that there was indeed a source—abuse. Her work gets to the core of parenting, which to me is how to understand and love your child as his or her own human being. I write about Miller’s work in: “On visiting the Korean comfort women memorial at the DMZ.”
Parenting from the Inside Out is a classic on the science of how our own experiences as babies and children shape our parenting. Great advice and exercises on how to release your own memories and be truly present for your children, from infancy and into adulthood.
IN-PERSON EDUCATION & SUPPORT
Gurian Institute: Michael Gurian is a psychologist who teaches how gender- and sex-based education can benefit kids’ developing brains. He has also written a ton of books on the subject, many of which I’ve read and enjoyed. I write about Gurian’s work in: “On visiting the Korean comfort women memorial at the DMZ.”
Hand-in-Hand Parenting: HiHP is a parent education organization that I became familiar with through my children’s preschool (below). Their main focus is on training parents to listen to their children, especially when children are acting out (think tantrums as toddlers, rebelling as teenagers, etc.). Learning to listen to all of our children’s emotions helps their brains develop the mirror neurons they need to form a true sense of selfhood.
Laurel Hill Nursery School: Laurel Hill is one of SF’s oldest play-based co-op schools, where parents serve as teacher’s helpers 1x/week in their children’s classrooms, take parent education classes (such as “Kids and tech” or “Attachment Parenting”) and serve on various committees unto the school’s betterment. This involvement greatly reduces the cost of preschool from around $3,000/month to $1,500/month for full day care (in SF). In addition, it provides parents with an incredible window into how our children are growing outside the home. Our bond with Laurel Hill families continues to grow, even with our kids in high school!
Safe & Sound is a child abuse prevention organization that also runs a free 24/7 hotline for parents in need of support. I called the line regularly as a young mother, and always appreciated the kind voices encouraging me after a long day. Call anytime, doesn’t have to be a crisis!
(415) 441-KIDS
ONLINE PRACTIONERS
Claudia Sinay-Mosias: I’ve been a client of Claudia’s for 14 years! I write about our relationship in “Between two poles.”
Mary Logan was my first therapist. She led group sessions when I was at El Camino Hospital’s outpatient program in 2005, and I remember loving her presence, intelligence and humor. I actually still go see her when I’m back in the Bay Area.
Rik Center at Mindfulness Care Center: Rik is Somatic Experiencing Therapist, which means that he helps people learn to trust their body’s natural mechanisms to discharge of trauma that may be stored within. I took Rik’s “Unwinding Stress and Traumatic Anxiety” class, now called DEER, and had a few sessions with him privately. I’ll likely write a lot about Rik in the coming weeks.
RELATIONSHIPS
Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend: Great intro to relational health by two leading Christian psychologists. I was a total C&T junkie back in the day!
Within by Dr. Habib Sadeghi: Wow, what a human being. The book is *kinda* about weight loss, but more about how to connect with the source of self-love. I write about Dr. Sadeghi in: “On visiting the Korean comfort women memorial at the DMZ.”
Love’s Journey by Michael Gurian: The best book on relationships ever.
Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff: A Berkeley professor who researches how self-compassion can lead to much better outcomes than shame or guilt.
Shadow Dance by David Richo: Best $19.99 I have ever spent. A Jungian take on the self and other, and how befriending our shadows can free us into a more joyful life.
TRAUMA
BOOKS & PODCASTS
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk: The seminal book on how trauma gets stored in our body, minds, souls, personalities, disorders and diseases, and how to trust the body to begin to release it. There is an amazing amount of hope for us, in spite of even the deepest abuses. In addition, Did you know that it is very common for men who were sexually abused as boys to do steroids and seek exceptional physiques? Or that obesity can be a marker of prior sexual abuse for women? It can be a very painful read, but written with a lifetime of expertise and compassion.
Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us by father and son duo, Stephen Porges, Ph.D and Seth Porges. The vagus nerve is crucial in activating the physiological mechanisms that create a sense of safety in humans. It is also the nerve that gets most damaged by trauma. Learning to activate the vagus nerve when feeling threatened is key in learning to manage trauma.
This Past Weekend with Theo Von: My oldest son loves Theo Von, and I always listen to the episodes he recommends. I really liked all of this one, but especially how the conversation got started—with Theo saying he didn’t want the podcast to enable victimization in today’s more trauma-informed world (in the best sense), and Dr. Fletcher saying that yes, we can now much better explain what happened to the victim, but the victim ultimately then needs to take responsibility for him/herself. It can be rough.
Thank you for visiting.
